NATURAL SELECTION NEEDS YOUR HELP!
More work than current staff can handle!
The Department of Natural Selection is desperately understaffed and in need of help. The production line is pumping out more idiots & morons faster than the chocolate conveyor belt scene in "I Love Lucy".
The events listed below have contributed to the current overflow of dumbasses:
- Floridians Procreating
- The Tide Pod Challenge
- (Enter any politician's name here)
- That Vodka-Soaked Tampon Thing
- Kardashians & Jenners
- Naming Winter Storms
- Potato chips that taste like something other than potatoes
- People who have read this far and still think this is a legitimate job posting
- Totino's changing their Party Pizzas to square-shape
- Celebrities who think we care about their political views
- Radio DJs' blogs
- Duck-face selfies
- Country songs that use auto-tuning
- Man rompers
- Squiggly eye brows
If you are okay with any of the items listed above, please do not inquire within. However, there are support groups available and remember...you are surrounded by people who love you.